Just your friendly neighborhood demigod

She is my beotch ♥

actualcannibalfeferipeixes:

mATH HOMEWORK???

THE BIBLE SAID ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM BOUGHT 60 WATERMELONS

(Source: teamgais, via phobias)

schrodingers-tribble:

notyour-sidekick:

deerpong:

there’s something very satisfying about buying office supplies but I’m not quite sure how to explain that feeling

the illusion of productivity

that’s it that’s the feeling

(via dejected--dreamer)

nintendumb:

imagine how radical being a pet fish is like youre just swimming around and suddenly it starts raining food

(via guy)

stability:

you know when youre in the car and your parents break hard and they throw their arm over you for protection?
I have same instinct with my take out food

(via phobias)

sugarrette:

fun prank: put $1000 in an envelope and mail it to me

(via bettywhitegold)

tonydinozzos:

i was just showing my mom how to paste something into her text message on her phone and i was like “double tap in the the text box” “the text box” “the text box” and she was just pointing to random places on her screen that weren’t the text box and all i could think of was

image

(Source: tonydinozzos, via bettywhitegold)

definited:

when i’m done dealing with someones shit

image

(via bettywhitegold)